Location: Virginia
Hobbies or Interest: Mountain biking, hiking, ultimate frisbee, reading, & renovating
I am an immigrant from Panama who grew up in N.C. I moved from small town N.C. to Washington, D.C. in 1991, after graduating from law school. I have worked in the Department of Defense federal government space for 33 years now. In addition to practicing law, I coach and mentor professionals — attorneys, accountants, engineers — using similar skills that are needed for facilitating support groups.
After being together for 18 years, my husband Bill and I adopted our daughter and son, biological siblings, from foster care; they were 6 and 5 years old respectively. Both have struggled with mental health issues based in trauma and neglect as well both had numerous attachment disruptions since removal from their birth family when our daughter was 2.5 y/o and our son 18-months old.
Our son is our qualifier, and at 16, his resistance to therapy, demands on Bill and me as a co-equal, and many other things led to his significant mental health degradation and ultimately, we enrolled him in long-term residential treatment 2000 miles away from home. After three programs and 20 months later, he returned home in August 2023. The struggle to keep him safe and in school after turning 18 in October continues and now, he’s added substance use, primarily weed, to his already fragile life.
I can’t recall exactly where I found reference to OPLM, and boy am I glad I did! In the spring of 2022, I found myself further distancing from my closest friends and family members plus I still wasn’t comfortable meeting up in person as we started coming out of the pandemic so OPLM’s virtual offerings were perfect! While I have been a member for two years now, OPLM has impacted my well-being significantly these last six months.
OPLM empowered me to take back my life. I like to learn continuously, and I do not fear change, and OPLM has helped me to learn more, grow stronger, and be courageous. I now show up each day for myself first, then for my family. I now understand the importance of and practice often self-compassion, acceptance, gratitude, and meditation. OPLM has taught me to pause when I am triggered or starting to feel dysregulated, focus only on what I can control, and that community (even virtual) is created by commonality and when all have a safe place to share and express their challenges, fears, or joys without judgement. In addition, OPLM has taught me to give myself grace rather than getting in my head and ruminating when I make a mistake.
My experience from the peer-to-peer support I’ve received as an OPLM member has given me the confidence, support, help, hope, and healing I need as a parent of a struggling kid. Most importantly, OPLM has helped me to build better skills to deal with my son (and daughter) from a calmer, more compassionate, and centered place inside of me.
I am proud to join OPLM as a peer parent, and I am looking forward to supporting our member parents through their own healing and growth.
"Hope is that thing inside us that insists, despite all evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us if we have the courage to reach for it and to work for it and to fight for it." -Barack Obama
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If you or a loved one is in emotional distress or suicidal crisis, call 988.
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