As I step into the new year, it’s a perfect time to reflect on my journey and set intentions for the months ahead. One of the many important lessons I’ve discovered is the power of self-trust: trusting in myself, my decisions, and the path ahead. As a parent to a child who struggled with mental health and addiction, this trust didn’t come overnight; it was built through self-awareness, self-care, and learning to quiet the noise of fear and doubt. These practices helped me show up for my son in ways I never thought possible.
Reflecting on Parenting and Self-Trust
For so much of my parenting experience, I questioned every decision, afraid I’d make the wrong choice. The constant cycle of self-doubt only made it harder to trust my instincts. But with time, I realized that this self-criticism wasn’t helping me or my son.
Through self-awareness, I began to tune in to my emotions and listen to my heart. I didn’t need to have all the answers but trusted that I was making the best choices with the information I had at the time. It allowed me to be more present with my son, acknowledging both the challenges and the wins without judgment.
Using Meditation and Journaling for Clarity
During chaotic times, I found meditation and journaling brought clarity and peace. Meditation helped me create space between my thoughts and reactions, allowing me to ground myself when everything felt overwhelming. Journaling helped me step out of the endless cycle of rumination, helping me gain insight and a fresh perspective on my progress and my son’s.
In addition, finding a support system and being there for other parents facing the same challenges helped me reflect more deeply. It reminded me that healing is a shared experience, not one we go through in isolation. Through both leaning on others and offering support, I discovered a sense of connection and purpose I hadn’t realized I was missing
These practices didn’t just help me; they transformed how I showed up as a parent. When my son struggled, fear often consumed me and I reacted out of panic rather than purpose. Learning to slow down, pause and find calm changed that. It allowed me to approach my struggles and him with compassion and clarity, becoming the steady presence he needed.
Looking back, I’ve come to accept that some of my decisions were made out of fear and the belief that I could control the outcomes. As I’ve learned, it’s totally okay not to trust the process right away. Honestly, it’s natural to feel hesitant, especially when things are uncertain. In the beginning, I didn’t trust the path ahead either.
There were so many unknowns and not trusting the process often felt like a way of protecting myself. But what I found was that accepting the process without needing to like it or feel comfortable with it, was a step forward. It didn’t mean I had to embrace every uncomfortable moment, but it allowed me to loosen my grip on control and let things unfold in their own time.
Learning Acceptance and Letting Go of Control
When I stopped trying to control every outcome, it gave me space to focus on what I could do in the moment, whether that was simply being present with my son, supporting him without trying to “fix” everything immediately, or just acknowledging the emotions that came up for both of us.
I needed to understand that acceptance wasn’t about giving up or giving in; it’s about recognizing that healing can take unexpected paths. This perspective helped me see that healing isn’t a linear journey, but one that unfolds in its own time and way.
You can still be cautious, still have your doubts, but allowing yourself to accept the uncertainty helps ease the constant struggle. And that, in itself, creates room for growth.
As I continued to work on myself, I became more accepting, learned how to actively listen and validate, and approached situations from a place of understanding and compassion. Most importantly, I came to trust in myself, my ability to change, grow, and face challenges head-on. Letting go of the fear of failure allowed me to embrace the process, knowing my support was guided by love and hope.
A New Year’s Encouragement for Parents
As I enter the new year, I encourage you to trust yourself more deeply as a parent. Slow down, listen to your heart, and trust that the path you’re on with your child is the right one for both of you.
Jennifer DiMartino is a mom of two young adults who have faced mental health and substance use challenges. When her son was 16, Jennifer and her husband sent him to residential treatment and sober living, a decision that ultimately helped him find sobriety. Her daughter later struggled with social anxiety and depression and Jennifer credits her experiences with her son for equipping her to support her daughter. She became a Peer Parent with OPLM in April 2023, where she finds purpose and connection in guiding others through similar struggles. She co-hosts the Self-Compassion meeting on Mondays at 9am and the Supporting Caregivers/Guardians Through Their Child’s Mental Health meeting on Wednesdays at 8pm. Jennifer also advocates as a Guardian ad Litem and facilitates support groups for parents of her son’s previous treatment centers.