In my chaotic world of parenting, I often have felt lost and disconnected from myself.
The pressures of parenting my son who struggles mentally and with substance misuse clouded my sense of self and left me feeling isolated for a long time. However, amidst the noise and overwhelm, I have learned there lies a path to finding my center. This path has involved nurturing from within, practicing forgiveness towards those I love, and allowing my past self to heal through an understanding of intergenerational trauma.
I found that nurturing from within was the first step towards finding my center. This has involved taking the time to care for my emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. It means listening to my body and mind, knowing and honoring my values, needs, and desires, and giving myself the love and attention I deserve. I’ve been able to do this by cultivating habits of self-compassion and self-care that provide space for self-reflection and connection to myself.
Forgiveness has played a crucial role in the process of finding my center. I have learned that holding onto grudges towards my parents, siblings, husband, or children only weighs me down and blocks my path to self-discovery. I know that by forgiving, I also let go of anger and resentment, freeing up space for love, compassion, and understanding not only for myself but for others. An example is forgiving my son for verbally abusing me recently. I found when I released my anger and hurt, I was able to move forward with a clearer mind and more compassion toward him.
Healing Intergenerational Trauma is a particularly powerful and transformative aspect of finding your center. Intergenerational trauma refers to the psychological wounds passed down through generations, affecting individuals and families in profound ways. In my experience by acknowledging and understanding the impact of past traumas in my life, I’ve started the healing process and breaking the cycle of pain and suffering through therapy and support groups like OPLM. I have been able to uncover the roots of my own traumas, which has helped me to better understand my son’s traumas and guide him towards his own healing.
The journey of finding our center is not easy, nor is it quick. I have found it requires patience, dedication, and a willingness to explore the depths of our inner self. It is a journey of self-discovery, growth, and transformation that requires us to confront our fears and embrace our vulnerabilities. Yet, the rewards of this journey are profound and life-changing. By finding my center, I have gained a sense of peace, clarity, and purpose that is empowering me to navigate life and help my son through his struggles with grace and resilience.
In conclusion, I have been able to find my center by nurturing myself from within, practicing forgiveness towards my son and others, and allowing my past self to heal through an understanding of intergenerational trauma.
By embracing these centering practices, I hope you can reconnect with your true self, cultivate a sense of wholeness and well-being, and embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing that leads you towards a life of authenticity, joy, and peace
Josie Dristy is an adoptive mother of a sibling group of two. She joined OPLM in 2022, after she and her husband of 25 years sent their son to residential treatment. She found OPLM because she felt isolated as many people didn’t understand their son’s mental health illness and substance use problems. She became a Peer Parent in March 2024, and now is the co-host for the Solo Moms group at 11am EST on Sundays.
