Sherine J.

Peer Parent

My family moved to Dayton, Ohio from Cairo, Egypt when I was three years old. I grew up in humble but loving surroundings. My childhood was full of wonderful memories. We had everything we ever needed and our house was full of love and laughter. I went to Marquette University and graduated in Biomedical Engineering. At Marquette, I met the love of my life.

Mike and I married and eventually had three beautiful kids that were full of fun and energy. I was blessed enough to stay home with them, volunteer at school, on their sports teams, and enjoy every part of their childhood. When our youngest was in middle school was the first time we noticed the cough medicine was missing from our medicine cabinets. Struggles with authority in school, excessive gaming (League of Legends), dropping friend groups were some beginning behaviors. But all of it could be explained by puberty and adolescent angst.

Over excelling at school and sports had us overlook the progression of these behaviors. By second semester freshman year in high school, our son started dropping out of clubs and teams he previously loved. Excessive gaming increased to the point where we couldn’t control it and when we tried, he would run away for days on end. By the end of freshman year, it took everything we had to convince him to finish his finals. By mid-semester sophomore year, we couldn’t convince him to go to school, his mood would shift from majorly depressed to mania. After a few ODs and ER visits, fearful for his life, we had him gooned. Seven weeks in an In-house adolescent hospital for stabilization, then 6 months at an RTC. Our child was unrecognizable, yet alive and we were so happy to bring him home.

Within 30 days at home, we suspected our son was using again. Continued therapies, support groups for him, many psychiatric appointments, and family therapies did not detour any of his behaviors. Fast forward, his Junior year summer, 3 months before his 18th birthday, we felt like we had one last shot to save his life. He was gooned again, but this time we sent him to 10 weeks of Wilderness therapy. We knew we had to place him in a TBS before he turned 18 and accepted the fact that he would probably never live in our home again. One week before his 18th birthday, we talked to him and told him we had chosen two TBS’ that we would pay for or he could walk on his birthday. But he would decide which road he would take. He chose one of the schools and off he went.

That was over two years ago. While our son was at the TBS, he graduated high school finishing in honors and joined AA. After graduating he went through two-step down programs in sober living communities. He was accepted in a university as a science major with a substantial scholarship. Now he is a sophomore in college living in recovery.

Our personal family recovery started when we let our son choose his own path. We were ready to let him drive his future and we started accepting it might not be in recovery or with us. The TBS he enrolled encouraged us to join Alanon. We joined Alanon and started on the journey to our recovery a few months before Covid-19 began. Once shelter-in-place began we joined a couple Zoom Alanon groups and eventually found a community with parents who also had their children in recovery. Embracing the Alanon steps, engaging in our Zoom Alanon community, and learning to Let Go and Let God, has helped our family heal and also allowed our son be in charge of his recovery. These mentors and resources made all the difference. Our son was able to get on the path to recovery and work toward the life he deserved. Our online Zoom family have kept us committed to focusing on our own recovery, share our experiences and spread hope to those also battling this illness. Our relationship with him as never been better.