In early October, I received an invitation that immediately resonated with my core values. Kristen, the Experts and Partnerships Coordinator for OPLM, asked me to write a blog post about the possibilities of gratitude in our life journey. Anyone who knows me knows I embrace facilitating “gratitude circles,” whether at a Friendsgiving, a birthday party, or in my Adolescent Skills Group, where I ask my clients to write a sentence of gratitude on a paper leaf to contribute to our Gratitude Tree.
While I genuinely enjoy creating these collective moments of gratitude with others, this piece is more personal. I want to share my evolving story as a mother and licensed therapist, highlighting the intentional practice of gratitude as an essential anchor in the often-challenging—and deeply rewarding—journey of motherhood.
My 25-year career working with adolescents began as a middle school teacher and eventually led me to my current role as a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT). For 18 years, I’ve specialized in supporting teenage girls and their parents. So when I became a mother 16 years ago, I felt confident, believing my professional experience gave my husband and me a clear roadmap for raising our two daughters.
Life, my children, and the universe have consistently reminded me that I have not figured it all out. My oldest daughter, strong-willed and impulsive, showed me exactly where I needed to grow: learning to attune to my own feelings, set clear limits, and ask for what I need. My younger daughter, highly sensitive and perfectionistic, presented a different challenge. At age three, we discovered she would shut down, stop speaking, and freeze—requiring advocacy and strategies very different from her older sister. We continue to navigate emotion regulation together, and through it, I continue to practice attuning to my feelings, setting boundaries, and checking my own perfectionism as a parent.
Parenting is challenging. Yet, in quiet moments, I find deep gratitude. I am becoming more aware of my urges to rescue or soothe my daughters’ discomforts and learning to pause, reflect, and respond intentionally. All my professional knowledge and clinical expertise do not lead to a perfect, predictable parenting experience. The truly meaningful work starts with the humbling realization of letting go of the illusion of control. Within this messy, imperfect reality, the most profound and authentic gratitude flourishes.
Try This: A Simple Gratitude Practice
I think of gratitude as an affirmation practice. I like to use sticky notes to write down quotes or words that I might need for myself. If you’re looking for a gratitude mantra, feel free to use this one:
“Gratitude is a choice. It’s not a magical feeling that appears one day. Turning your mind to gratitude is a commitment to your well-being—your mental, emotional, and physical health.”
I hope this brings you comfort and acts as a compass to guide you back to gratitude, especially during parenting challenges or moments of uncertainty.
Katie LeRoy is a Cape Cod native with a B.A. in Sociology from UC Santa Barbara and an M.A. in Teaching. She taught middle school in San Francisco before earning her M.A. in Counseling Psychology from Dominican University. Katie is foundationally trained in DBT (Behavioral Tech, 2012) and Self-Reg (MEHRIT Centre, 2023), and has spent more than 13 years in private practice in Marin and Sonoma Counties specializing in adolescent emotion regulation. When she’s not working, Katie enjoys time with her family, their chocolate lab, and exploring the outdoors on RV trips.