Parenting a child who struggles—emotionally, academically, socially, or behaviorally—is a journey no one signs up for. Yet it asks more of us than we ever imagined. It’s a path that strips away certainty, plans, and traditional definitions of success. But in that unraveling, something deeper can be born: us.
For a long time, I poured all my energy into trying to help my child succeed. I searched for answers outside myself—experts, systems, fixes. But the biggest shift happened when I began listening within. The first rebirth wasn’t my child’s. It was mine.
I began to discover a quiet voice inside—one that knew how to slow down, see my child with compassion, and stay grounded in love, even during the hardest moments. That inner wisdom didn’t offer quick solutions, but it did offer something just as powerful: hope.
Hope isn’t built on outcomes. It’s built on presence.
Hope I can keep going, even when I don’t have all the answers.
Hope that growth happens in the tiniest cracks of connection.
But here’s the thing: hope has an enemy. And it often shows up disguised as good intentions. It’s the rigid belief that our child must develop in a specific way in order to be happy. This belief whispers that unless they meet certain milestones, behave a certain way, or look “typical,” they won’t have a good life.
That voice is loud in our culture—but it is not true.
Holding onto that rigid narrative chokes out hope. It keeps us stuck in fear and disappointment, instead of allowing us to see the beauty, resilience, and possibility in the life unfolding right in front of us.
Tapping into my inner wisdom helped me release that rigidity. I began to see that wanting my child to always be happy was less important than helping them build a meaningful life—a life with connection, self-worth, and purpose, even if it includes struggle.
That shift changed everything. It helped me redefine what success looks like—not just for my child, but for myself as a parent. And in doing so, I learned to lead myself through uncertainty with more calm and clarity. I became the steady place my child could return to.
As Matthew L. Jacobson wrote: “Behind every young child who believes in themselves is a parent who believed first.”
Belief doesn’t mean blind optimism. It means anchoring ourselves in something stronger than fear. It means trusting that even when the path is messy, love still leads somewhere meaningful.
That’s where the rebirth happens. In the showing up. In choosing to keep loving. In letting go of who we thought we had to be—so we can become who our child truly needs.
This journey is not about fixing. It’s about transforming—ourselves first.
So if you’re in the thick of it, feeling tired or unsure, pause. Breathe. Listen.
You have wisdom inside you. You are not lost.
And from that quiet place, hope can rise again.
About York Ast: When COVID hit in 2020, York and his family were also navigating the trauma of addiction. After two decades leading teams in high-end hospitality, the experience became a turning point—one that pushed him to reflect and ultimately redefine how he wanted to live and lead. He launched his executive leadership coaching business, focused on how we show up as leaders at work, at home, and within ourselves. At the same time, York began volunteering as a parent coach for families facing addiction, offering the kind of support he once needed. For him, giving back is a powerful way to honor that journey.
Please feel free to reach out to York with any questions or for further support at [email protected]