“New Year, New Me!”

If that phrase doesn’t give you the ick, please send me your psychiatrist’s number—I need a serious dose of whatever meds make resolutions feel achievable. Performative January positivity? Not for me.

Every New Year reminds me of two universal truths: 1) the gym will be packed for two weeks with people ditching their “work out more” goals by mid-January, and 2) most adults were never taught how to set realistic goals or build the discipline to achieve them. Statistically, fewer than 1 in 10 adults stick to their resolutions for the entire year. Ouch.

Until my mid-20s, I was one of the 90% whose resolutions barely lasted 21 days. My failures? Picking “should” goals I didn’t care about, having no plan, and ignoring the why behind them. But as a “former troubled teen” sent to wilderness therapy at 16 and later diagnosed with ADHD and a mood disorder, I learned success doesn’t follow a one-size-fits-all path.

Now, I use my unconventional experiences to help teens and young adults at Not Therapy. Alongside my co-founder Colin, I’ve turned my journey into “cheat codes” to help young people, especially those who feel therapy hasn’t worked, find their motivation and move forward.

A Troubled Teen’s Guide to Setting (and Keeping!) Resolutions 🎆

1️⃣ Categorize: Pick 2–3 areas to improve (school, emotions, relationships). Ask: What do I want to do? How do I want to feel? Who do I want to spend time with?

2️⃣ Define Success: Create a vision starting with “By December 2025…” (e.g., “I’ll have a community of friends who love hiking.”)

3️⃣ Identify Your Why: Write 5+ reasons why each goal matters and how it will improve your life.

4️⃣ Brainstorm Opportunities: List small steps (e.g., journaling, finding a therapist, or meditation for stress).

5️⃣ Set a 3-Month Milestone: Create a measurable goal, like reducing stress from 10/10 to 8/10.

6️⃣ Create Action Items: Break it into tasks with deadlines (e.g., schedule therapy or journal daily).

7️⃣ Review and Adjust: Reflect every three months on what’s working, tweak your approach, or revise your goals.


Small wins add up. Keep it simple, realistic, and personal.

Helping Your Teen or Young Adult Set Goals 🎆

If you’re thinking, “Hayley, I love this for you, but I could NEVER get my kid to do this!!” 😭You’re not alone! Parents often have different goals for their kids, making these conversations challenging. Here’s a two-step approach we recommend to parents:

1️⃣ Model Growth: Show your child how you set and achieve your own goals. Kids learn best by watching parents who lead by example with consistency and effort.

2️⃣ Find a Mentor: Help your child identify a trusted adult who can guide and hold them accountable. A good mentor provides a fresh perspective and is often more effective than parental advice.

Does It Work?

Absolutely. Since I systematized this for myself and found mentors over five years ago, I’ve hit every goal—including the wild ones like raising over $1M for a company I hadn’t even defined yet.

This process works because it ties you to your “why,” sets clear outcomes, and breaks progress into manageable steps. Whether your child is struggling or simply needs direction, having a supportive mentor and a solid system can make all the difference.

After all, New Year’s resolutions are just goals with a January start date. 🎆

Hayley Caddes is the co-founder of Not Therapy: your one-stop-shop mental wellness concierge for teens and young adults who feel like therapy hasn’t been the right fit or who are transitioning out of therapeutic programs back into the real world. As young people who have been in our clients’ shoes, our approach to mentorship is rooted in personal expertise. We empower young people with relatable support and actionable tools, 7 days a week, to build a life they’re excited about living. Don’t just take our word for it – see what our clients and their parents have to say at nottherapycoaching.com